Embarq Free

There's a bit of irony with a dash of sarcasm in this post's title. Embarq sucks. And they're hardly free. Oh, you've read a vent here or there about my trials and tribulations with Embarq. Suffice it to say that in the past two years and three months that I have lived here I have spent more time on the phone trying to figure out my bill, contesting my bill, wondering why I do not have service, or trying to reduce my services so that I might better afford my bill. Embarq provided three services for us: land line, Internet, and cell phone. Internet being the only one that worked consistently and was relatively affordable (compared to other options). But alas, it didn't matter how we tried to work it, our bill was always $150/month. I tried a long distance package. I gave up long distance all together. We reduced the number of minutes on the cell phone. We added minutes and bundled. We tried slower Internet. The impact was never greater than $10/month.

Finally, it became a choice between phone and Internet or groceries. We chose groceries. Those of you who have tried calling me know I've not had service since the 5th or 6th of October. It's been a quiet four weeks. And aside from my minor withdrawal from the Internet at home, I've rather enjoyed the peace. I spent two years living in Eureka Springs after graduating from Hendrix without a phone. I can spend a few years living in the 'Burg without a phone.

And so today, the Embarq Saga ends... Of course, they got another 90 minutes of my life that I'll never be able to get back!

It began at 1:00 this afternoon. I called to make a payment on my bill and reevaluate my services in hopes of lowering my bill. I made said payment (and she assured me that my payment was not enough to restore my services, and I said I understood, no problem) and when I reminded the gal that I needed to discuss reducing my services, she hung up on me.

I called back. Got another gal. Explained that I needed to ask about a $159 charge on my bill (for services NOT received) and that I needed to talk about changing up my services. She explained, very patiently, that even though I did NOT have phone or Internet services, that the $159 was my charge for October, after all they didn't give my phone number away. Something about fine print. So I asked to speak to a manager to resolve the issue. The line was disconnected.

I called back. I cancelled my services. The gal assured me that I would be "pro-rated" for October, but the bill would not come out till November. She directed me to the wireless people to cancel the cell phone (which they're planning on dropping in the near future anyway!).

There I spoke with another gal. She disconnected the service. I asked her about the bill. We got to the 'hard questions' and we were disconnected (again!). I am so not kidding.

So I called back. Spoke with another gal at wireless. She said that I indeed cancelled my wireless, but that my other services had been restored. "No, they can't be! First my payment wasn't enough and secondly, I cancelled them," I moaned. "No, I show that you cancelled the wireless, but not your other services. But you're right, your services should not have been restored" She kindly connected me with a gentleman who worked in cancellations.

He was confused. He found it difficult to believe that I had been on the phone for about 75 minutes and had experienced three dropped calls. (Note: I was being very nice. No cussing or screaming.) So he began the process and provided me with a confirmation number (!) and I asked, "Should I call wireless back to make sure I the cell phone is cancelled?" "No ma'am, it's taken care of now. Is there anything else I can help you with?" "Why yes, I need to talk to somebody about my bill. There's $159... do I need to talk to billing?" "I can handle it for you, what's the problem."

And so I explained that I was being charged for services I did not receive. That I have NOT had service in four weeks, not since October 6. That I was not going to pay $159 for charges dated 10/13 - 11/12. And I asked, the gal earlier said I couldn't not be pro-rated for those days because I didn't not "cancel" my services and you were "saving" my phone number.

Long story, longer... He agreed to stop the bill on the 6th and pro-rate from there. Of course, I forsee another call to Embarq in November when I receive my final bill.

But I will no longer be using their services.

Well readers, this means that contacting me via the phone will be virtually impossible; just ask my mom or Shannon. But you can still reach me at the office (leave a message if I am in class) and you can email me at my gmail or UCM accounts.

Bye-bye Embarq!